


Karkat Vantas Makes A Romcom (Original Draft)

by AceyEnn



Category: Homestuck
Genre: College AU, Ensemble Cast, Every Romcom Cliche Ever, F/M, Gen, Humanstuck, Humor, Multi, Second person POV
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-05
Updated: 2014-04-05
Packaged: 2018-01-18 05:24:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1416703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceyEnn/pseuds/AceyEnn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you are going to produce the greatest romantic comedy the world has ever had the unmitigated pleasure to lay eyes on. At least, that’s your plan. You know, eventually."</p><p>Currently being retooled as part of a larger AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Karkat Vantas Makes A Romcom (Original Draft)

Your name is Karkat Vantas, you’re a film major, and you are going to produce the greatest romantic comedy the world has ever had the unmitigated pleasure to lay eyes on.

 

At least, that’s your plan. You know, eventually. For right now, you are going to try your hardest to ignore your roommate’s loud arguing with who you can only assume is that Ampora asshole.

 

“I _told_ you, we broke up _months_ ago! Just because we’re still good friends doesn’t mean I’m trying to steal her from you! Especially since she’s _not fucking interested_! Jesus, ED, you need to lay off. She’s seriously sick of your shit.” A pause. “Yeah, fuck you too. Bye, douchebag.”

 

Sollux Captor is a computer science major, and, you will begrudgingly admit, one of your best friends. You’ve been living together since freshman year, and you suppose you just...bonded.

 

Not like that, of course. Contrary to what one Eridan Ampora, pretentious music major and thorn in everyone’s side, would have you believe, Sollux isn’t really the type to chase skirts (or pants, you guess). He’s more the type who pops boners every time he sees a cute girl (or boy), and then proceeds to beat himself up over being an awkward fuck who can’t even control his own cock.

 

Okay, you might be exaggerating a bit. He has been, perhaps a bit surprisingly, more lucky in love than you have. He had a girlfriend--Feferi Peixes, sociology major--for about eight months, whereas you…

 

Well, for someone who knows everything there is to know about romance, you haven’t exactly been _successful_ in regards to it.

 

The closest you’ve come to a relationship was the time you made out with a cute physics major by the name of Jade Harley. This Incident--and that’s all you can think of it as, an  _Incident_ , with a capital I--occurred during a party held by one of Jade’s fellow physicists.

 

The physicist in question was one Roxy Lalonde, a reputed party girl and recovering alcoholic who happened to be one of the most brilliant scientific minds at Skaia University. Apparently, she’s working towards her PhD. You doubt you’ll ever understand her. But that’s not important.

 

What is important is that you and Jade were both tipsy (to say the least), and through a series of events of the variety you’d always assumed only happened in shitty teen comedies, the two of you ended up getting to what some would refer to as first-and-a-half base (kissing with tongue, hands under the shirt and over the bra).

 

It might have gone further had her cousin John--your fellow film major, near-perpetual classmate, and, somewhat regrettably, friend--not walked in on you. You’d been annoyed at the time, but given the fact that Jade couldn’t make eye contact with you for a good week afterwards, you’re pretty grateful now.

 

 _Thank you, John Egbert_ , you’ve found yourself thinking, _for preserving my friendship with your hot cousin._

You actually mean it.

 

By the time you snap out of your reverie, Sollux has left your dorm for the deep, dark recesses of the laundry room, and you finally have some goddamn peace and quiet.

 

You glance at your computer’s clock. 4:13 AM. Great, just _great_.

 

You suppose working on your script will have to wait. You have class in four hours, and you’ll be damned if you don’t spend at least three of those hours in bed.

 

It doesn’t take long for you to fall into a deep, dreamless sleep. Sleep may be for the weak, but you don’t mind. Strength has never been your strong suit.

 

 

 


End file.
